Do Not Adjust Your Set, again

Well, Bernard is at school and Karl is frantically studying Greek. Since I have nothing to say about them, and since the last two clips from Do Not Adjust Your Set were a hit, I will give you another one. Note how well M.P. pulls off the not-so-helpful shopkeeper bit. It's like he was born for it! hehe!

"He's pinin' for the fjords!"

Karl is finally getting a life and socializing!
Bernard should be in bed because he's going to school tomorrow with Davidov.

Karl picked Davidov up at the airport. Funny story time. On the way to the airport, Bernard remembered a wrong turn that Alkman made when he took Bernard to the airport. Just as Karl and Bernard were remembering and laughing, Karl made the exact same wrong turn. Great airheads think alike. [Karl corrected it more quickly than Alkman]

Oh yes, Bernard finally got to meet Arcesilaus who works at the library. He is very tall.

Um... the end.

For your Amusement In Lieu of a Post (since I am Greeking)

This, you will note, "Karl-is-a-bat-groupie," is NOT MP (although it includes M.P.)! HaHAAAA!

Procrastinators miss out on the fun

Steinbeck and Bernard had a nice time going to WalMart and Dunkin Donuts last night... Karl, however, had to catch up on Geek... I mean Greek.

Karl is cramming 25 chapters of Greek into the next 2 weeks.
Bernard is thinking about packing.
Steinbeck SHOULD be planning... *cough*

A word from the wiser EX-Parrot

Those who procrastinate and do not manage time efficiently will pay for it later on.

Newsflash

For all fanatical readers: The Slideshow is WORKING! Three Cheers for Bernard!

The Ex-Parrots are Squashed

Today in Sunday School Karl and Bernard sat at the same end of the same pew that they always use. The highschoolers, it appears, did not have their own high school class, so they came to the adult class. Well, there was a COMPLETELY EMPTY row in front of Karl and Bernard, but they being the popular and charismatic ex-parrots that they are, EVERYONE wanted to sit next to them. So, Jwannhn climbed over Karl and Bernard (not very gracefully) and plopped down next to Bernard. Then Steinbeck drove his way through and plopped down next to Jwannhn. (Remember that there was an EMPTY row in front of them. Then Arouet tripped over Karl, stomped on Bernard's foot and clambered across Jwannhn and Steinbeck to sit next to Steinbeck. It should be noted that, to his credit, Wassilly went around the other way.

The Parrots Are Busy

The one parrot has a TERRIBLY messy room and is currently cleaning it. He is also throwing away gifts people gave him on his 19th birthday.

The other parrot is supposed to be studying. He has progressed pretty well, but really wants to do something with Karl and Steinbeck, but they are busy.... at least that is Karl's version of the story.

A Silly Job Interview

A Failed Experiment

Well, at least I'll get one more quote in there:

No, this is not mine. I wish I were this creative, but I'm not.


Good evening. Here is the news for Parrots. No parrots were involved in an accident on the M1 today when a lorry carrying high-octane fuel was in collison with a bollard. That's a bollard and not a parrot. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. The Minister of Technology today met the three Russian leaders to discuss a £4 million airliner deal... None of them went in the cage, or swung on the little wooden trapeze or ate any of the nice millet seed yum, yum. That's the end of the news

An Experiment

So, I, the EX-Parrot want to find out how to put big things in my wondrous blog AND see the EX-Parrot film on the side bar. This is part of a plot to do so.

-The VERY CLEVER EX-Parrot

I am going to put many quotes in...wonderful ones, of course, to see if I can solve the problem. If I can't you shall all benefit from the amazing quotes.




Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
-C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

'Good bye, master, my dear!' he murmured. 'Forgive your Sam. He'll come back to this spot when the job's done -- if he manages it. And then he'll not leave you again. Rest you quiet till I come; and may no foul creature come anigh you! And if the Lady could hear me and give me one wish, I would wish to come back and find you again. Good bye!'
-J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

ABRIDGE, v.t. To shorten. "When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for people to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation." -Oliver Cromwell
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"No," said George. "No, Lennie. I ain't mad. I never been mad, an' I ain't now. That's a thing I want ya to know."
-John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men

By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece.
- G. K. Chesterton

Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice,
And could of men distinguish her election,
Sh'ath seal'd thee for herself; for thou hast been
As one, in suff'ring all, that suffers nothing,
A man that Fortune's buffets and rewards
Hast ta'en with equal thanks; and blest are those
Whose blood and judgement are so well commeddled
That they are not a pipe for Fortune's finger
To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
As I do thee.
-Wm. Shakespeare, Hamlet

If men were ever in a state in which they did not want to know or could not perceive truth (facts or evidence), then Fantasy would languish until they were cured. If they ever get into that state (it would not seem at all impossible), Fantasy will perish, and become Morbid Delusion.
– J.R.R. Tolkien, On Fairy Stories

"I wish to make a complaint about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique."
"Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?"
"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what wrong with it."
-John Cleese and Michael Palin, Monty Python's Flying Circus

Tonight 'Spectrum' examines the whole question of frothing and falling, coughing and calling, screaming and bawling, walling and stalling, galling and mauling, palling and hauling, trawling and squalling and zalling. Zalling? Is there a word zalling? If there is what does it mean...if there isn't what does it mean? Perhaps both. Maybe neither. What do I mean by the word mean? What do I mean by the word word, what do I mean by what do I mean, what do I mean by do, and what do I do by mean? What do I do by do by do and what do I do by wasting your time like this? Goodnight.
-Michael Palin, Flying Circus

NOBODY expects a birthday party!

Well, I am finally updating again! THREE CHEERS FOR THE [real] EX-PARROT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have several interesting parties to tell about. Because since the last post, both Karl AND Bernard have grown a whole year older! But they had one last fling before their sudden leap towards maturity, which is the first topic of this post.

One day, Karl and Bernard were talking to their friends, Cassius and Jwannhn. They discovered to their utter shock and horror that Cassius had NEVER EVER EVER seen the ultimate chick-flick:Pride and Prejudice. Eager to patch this dreadful hole in her education, they plotted (with the help of Jwannhn's mother) to have an all-night P&P viewing. For some reason, they thought that their good buddies, Cornelius and Logkan had been involved in the plans. This lead to [drumroll, please!]

THE EX-PARROT, Episode 20488291: "The Best Laid Plans o' Mice and Men gang aft agley"

[cue cheesey music]

STARRING




It all started when Karl, Bernard, and Jwannhn learned to their utter horror and dismay that Cassius had never EVER seen that masterpiece in classic-turned-cinema, Pride and Prejudice. In order to patch the hole in the ship of Cassius' cultural education before it sank deeper than the Titanic, they plotted (with the help of Jwannhn's mommy) to have a "movie night" But the next day, disaster struck.

Hi guys! Ok, I have a plan. I was thinking of having a sleepover some weekend this summer and I've found out that this weekend is the only one that looks really good for my family. Remembering what Cassius had suggested on Sunday, I was thinking of all of us getting together this Friday night. We'd swim, go to Rita's Italian ice up the road, watch a movie, talk the whole night...you get the picture. ;-) Saturday, I'm not sure what we'd do...maybe swim some more, (do some of you have work?)and of course, Rudolph's "thing" is in the evening. So, let me know what you think ASAP. Love your mature friend,
~*~Cornelius~*~

This, thought Cassius, Jwannhn, Bernard, and Karl, was an excellent improvement on their little plan of the previous night. But things are seldom what they seem...

Cornelius, I don't care if you have a sleepover at your house. None of my plans were firm, so you're not planning on top of me. Hope to see you all soon,
Jwannhn

[Editor's note: Everyone was very pleased that noone planned on top of Jwannhn, because he is very slight and may have been totally squished by the weight!]


I will not be at prayermeeting. If you finalize plans, give me a call. I will most likely working or in class, so leave a message. XXX-XXX-XXXX And let me know what Rudolph says.
Bernard

Bad Bernard! Anyway, are we watching P&P still? We shouldn’t if Cassius decides to canoe…because the whole point was for her to see it. I’m game for almost anything... Are we swimming, too? I hope it’s as hot as it has been the past few days! I haven’t been swimming in ages.
Karl

*looks pleadingly at Cassius* Karl, are you talking about watching P&P at my house or with Rudolph? I was thinking that you guys can come anytime after 4pm on Friday. BTW, Do you guys have any suggestions for a movie for Friday night? Bring any and all suggestions to prayer meeting!
Cornelius

Just so you all know, I will be bringing my sociology book cuz I have 4 chapters to catch up on and 2 assignments to write for Monday. (Meaning, I will probably fall asleep in P&P just like I have a tendency to do with late night movie marathons. *cough*)Bernard

For any confused EX-parrots: don’t come to my house on Friday. Go to Cornelius’ at/ about 4pm. Saturday night is off, so don’t go to Friendly’s.
Jwannhn

That sounds like a great plan Karl. I'm confused too, though. How could you make those plans on Sunday when I hadn't mentioned a sleepover at my house? Is there another sleepover or something like that? Enlighten me!! Cheerio!
Cornelius.

okay, now I feel really bad. Sorry about all this confusion, but I had NO idea you had planned something else. *humbly begs for pardon* Are you sure you don't mind, Jwannhn?
Cornelius

Well, as one can see, CONFUSION marked this whole day! Fortunately, neither Logkan, Steinbeck, nor Cassius really got involved, and therefore their brains were saved to scramble another day. Also fortunately, the sleepover happened. (not of course without a little teeny weeny bit more confusion, but I, being the philanthropic EX-Parrot, will spare you all) There was no drama involved. Cornelius, Bernard, Steinbeck, Logkan, Jwannhn, and Karl all went to Cassius' house. Everyone except Karl cooked lots of good stuff. Karl washed dishes...some of them several times! One of the things that were cooked was PIZZA! All of them, ex-parrots and otherwise, ate lots of pizza. They topped it off with some brownies. Then all migrated to Cornelius' house. There they ate M&M's and Snickers and Doritos to their hearts' contents. Not, of course, until after they had EXERCISED by swimming in the swimming pool.

[BTW: Karl has been miserable at both exercising AND dieting...but more on that next post...if ever]

Pride and Prejudice was a hit. But the ex-parrots and co. were very tired by the end. In fact, Karl nearly fell asleep mid-movie, and this is the parrot who watched all three volumes of LotR-extended back to back and then went to work!

Well, Karl went home to do Greek, or whatever he does with his time, the next morning. He was shocked, and even saddened, when Steinbeck, instead of going home with him, went off with Bernard!

The next day being Sunday, Karl had another opportunity to talk to all the (sleepy) parrots, etc. It had just occurred to him that his family was going to be OUT OF TOWN on his BIRTHDAY! He made sure that all his friends were aware of this fact by complaining incessantly.

Pieces of Eight! Pieces of Eight! SQUAWWWK! Pieces of Eight!

Bernard and Steinbeck had not forgotten Karl's birthday. Do you remember when I told you that Steinbeck had gone off with Bernard? Well, it was not (only) for fun, but also for to buy presents for Karl. Now, these were not the sort of presents Karl would necessarily use, but they were funny. Karl is using the keychain that says "Official space cadet." Bernard had invited Karl and Steinbeck over for Peanut Butter Milkshakes (NOT mustard ones). Karl had invited Jwannhn and Rudolph. Well, as it turns out THIS was a birthday party for Karl. Karl was sufficiently surprised and managed not to get soaked with water when it was thrown at him. He very much appreciated most of his presents. He did not, however appreciate the dog treats. He presented them to Alkman and Cedric Junior.

That was the FIRST unexpected Birthday party.

The second was like unto the first. But it, unfortunately, was expected. So I have belied my post title. 'Tis true tis pity, and pity 'tis. tis true.

Bernard was having a surprise party the NEXT week. He was a teeny bit suspicious, but Steinbeck managed to tell him about it!

It was a fun party and involved Jwannhn falling all over the floor and trying to chase balloons in an exciting one-man version of "keep the balloon from hitting the ground."

Things have happened since then, but the EX-Parrot is tired of writing and, consequently will discontinue it.

Ahem

Both EX-Parrots are 19. Hear us roar!