The EX-Parrot

The interesting adventures of Karl and Bernard. They were once remarkable birds, Norwegian Blues with beautiful plumage but are now passed on...They are shortly to be replaced by slugs. Until then: Their lives through the eyes of the EX-Parrot.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The EX-Parrot never really dies

Once again, I have knews for you, o parrot fanciers.

Karl and Bernard did it again.

On Friday Karl drove miles and miles to see Bernard. It was very good of Karl to drive so much. That's what Karl thinks, anyway.

Bernard had difficulties getting to Karl's house. Bernard claims this is because of unavoidable road closures. Karl suspects this is because Bernard is directionally challenged.

Karl KNOWS that Bernard is mnemonically challenged. This is obvious because Karl and Bernard took a circuitous route from Karl's house to Bernard's house TWICE.

This is okay, though. Because Bernard is an artist! Photographs to come.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Not Dead Yet

The ex-Parrots have FINALLY had another adventure. Granted, it was not a very exciting adventure. It did not require Karl to drive up and down the East Coast twice. In fact, it did not require him to drive up and down even once. Karl is particularly glad for that. It did not require Bernard to be chauffered from NJ to ME and back with Norbert, Hagrid, and Lupin. He was probably glad about that, but he's not saying.

Furthermore, it was not a very long adventure. It might have been a three hour adventure, but Bernard takes Ben Franklin very seriously, (or is a party pooper...but the best construction of events must be constructed), so it was only a two hour adventure.

In said adventure Karl demonstrated lesson premier and Bernard demonstrated cheimaphobia.

In said adventure all your favorite EX-Parrots participated--Steinbeck, Loukan, Jwannhn, Cassius, and Cornelius. Also, the newest EX-Parrot, Reynaldo.

Unfortunately, EX-Parrot volubility has been utterly exhausted. Perhaps in the future the EX-Parrots will have another thrilling adventure similar to their yet unchronicled Little Dorrit party?

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Karl and Bernard go to the Airport

Karl and Bernard decided to leave the country simultaneously. Are they running from the law? Karl's later experience on that day led him to believe he is. He was nearly disallowed from entering another country. That, however, is beside the point.

Bernard needed to pull an all-nighter, because they would make him sleep on the plane. Karl specializes in all-nighters. If he were paid to do so, he would be a professional all-nighter. He is not paid to do so, which proves that there is no justice in the world. But he helped. Bernard watched Alvin and the Chipmunks while Karl read intellectually stimulating works, such as "Family and Civilization." But Karl would never complain.

Musico-Literary Moment: "If I had a string under my ribs, knotted to you, connecting our frames, I'd be afraid that many a mile would sever the tie, and I would take to bleeding inwardly."

Fortunately the antecedent of this implication is false, because there would be a lot of inward bleeding in the two parrots. But there is no such thing as a bad moment to reference Jane Eyre.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Ant Hikers

So, Hagrid made a teeny tiny cairn. This is evidence of his innately rebellious spirit, since there was a plethora of signs stating that a hiker building a cairn was not only destroying the environment, but also the pleasure that a person might get while hiking. In fact, it could cause an innocent hiker to lose his way. Imagine hiking all over Mt. Desert Island following the igni fatuus of bad cairns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, despite it being a rebellious action, it would not really have many negative repercussions since it was so small as to be only visible to ants or people crawling with their noses touched to the ground.


Hagrid and Karl were discussing in a humorous way the aforementioned ant cairns that throw off ant hikers, to which Lupin answered:

"Wait! They have ant hikers here?!?!?!"

An update on the parrots!

Today is the last day in Bar Harbor! It is a beautiful morning... 9:53am... and Karl, Hagrid, Lupin, and Norbert are snoozing their little heads off. Haha

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Lupin's Fall

Lupin fell into a crevice, head first! Bernard took pictures before rescuing him.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Lupin's near death

We forgot to mention Lupin's near death! He decided to take a nap by a certain precipice overlooking the ocean when Norbert, who was sleeping nearby suddenly encountered a rather large spider. He screamed, jerking Lupin awake much to his surprise that he nearly toppled off the rock except Bernard was right next to him and grabbed him. So that was Lupin's little excitement for the day.

Also it is important to mention that the Ex-Parrots and company went to an old movie theatre and watched "Indiana Jones." Lupin and Bernard were extremely confused. Bernard decided it was a funny, cool action movie but is still trying to figure out the point of the plot. Karl said it's supposed to be pointless anyway.

Lupin and Bernard just got back from a beautiful run along the shore and through town. The others are still snoozing.

While sitting on Cadillac Mountain, Norbert made this fascinating comment:
"Wouldn't it be fun if we got some birds and just chucked them off the mountain?"

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Ex-Parrots along with Hagrid, Norbert, and Lupin are busy gallivanting in Maine... actually, all of the aforementioned individuals are lounging in bed, eating pancakes, and watching TV. Bernard, operating on 5 and a half hours of sleep, woke up at 7 long before the others popped their sleepy eyelids open. Karl and Hagrid decided to have their own private slumber party for 4 hours, 2 of which were quite loud and poor Bernard could not fall asleep. However, around 2am, they decided to stop talking and Bernard was able to finally fall asleep peacefully. Surprisingly enough, though, Bernard was wide awake and functional at 7! He was going to go running with Lupin at 6:30 but decided against it due to the harried night before. Lupin and Bernard hope to do it later today.

Bernard decided to take a shower and discovered that the water pressure was almost enough to knock all of his poor feathers off! He survived though and then proceeded to make pancakes for everybody. Unfortunately, the frying pan was too small to do more than one at a time. However, it took forever for Bernard to wake up the others that he had plenty of time to make lots of pancakes. So after enjoying a delicious breakfast of pancakes... everyone is not really doing anything.

Anyway, the trip yesterday was quite uneventful. Karl was a brave soul and drove the entire way! They decided to take the scenic route which was very pleasant. They arrived around 3 or 4 at the place in which they were to stay and Bernard in particular was quite satisfied with the kitchen other than the fact that the few pots were a little bit too small.

Later on in the evening, they took a stroll along the shore path where Lupin and Bernard were inspired to run the next morning. The sun was just setting and it was quite beautiful! They had to make it to the grocery store so they did not meander long.

Today they plan on going to Acadia and driving around the park... that is if everyone mobilizes at some point.