ATTENTION

Karl is going to update about his surprise birthday party. Bernard is too busy.

UGH

Bad Bernard! The diet just went downhill! He had a milkshake today... And he decided to be GOOD! Besides, his cousin is back and will help eat the brownies and then Bernard will be good.

Anyway, Bernard's version of the early morning tenting experience with Karl:

Bernard was peacefully sleeping until he was awoken by Karl moving around and muttering and sighing and going "oooh" in a very disappointed way. Bernard was determined to ignore Karl but Karl wouldn't stop. Suddenly, Karl decided to grab Bernard's pillow and raise it up in the air (with Bernard's head still on it) and grope for Bernard's cellphone. Karl, being the not-so-intelligently-hi-tech-person that he is, did not know that alarms go off on cellphones even though the cellphone is turned off. Karl suddenly hits Bernard and hisses, "It got turned off!!!" Bernard, in a very cross way, mutters, "That's because I TURNED it off." Then Karl insisted that it was 6:45 already and the cellphone hadn't gone up. Glancing at his watch, Bernard, who knows how to tell time, said, "It's FIVE-forty-five." Karl was very disappointed and attempted to lie back down, but kept muttering and moaning. Bernard knew the only way to pacify the restless, time-ignorant, tent-ignorant Karl was to feed him. Hence the early morning breakfast.

THE END

I've got a ferret sticking up my noooose

At least, that was how it felt to Karl and Bernard as they attempted to sleep in a tent this evening. So VERY VERY hard to sleep with a stuffy nose.

Karl : "MAN! I can't pick my nose in here!"

Ah! The joys of sleeping in a tent.

Anyway, After a very very interesting night, Karl woke uncharacteristically early. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping.

"The larks on the wing
The something-or-other's on the thorn
God's in his Heaven
All's right with the world"

That's a poem by someone...probably Robbie Burns....and that's how it felt to Karl at 5:00 in the morning. So, of course, he thought it was time to wake up. Naturally, he woke Bernard up. Bernard was NOT happy...but after a few minutes, they decided to eat.

And that's where they are right now. Eating and thinking deep philosophical thoughts!

Over and out.

-The EX-Parrot

The Parrots are Weird!!!

They think therefore they are a rhubarb tart!!!

Spur of the moment evening (after convincing Karl to come to the picnic and get out of his Greek studying) is crazy-fun. They are having a sleepover in a tent outside underneath the pale moonliiiight with rhubarbs.

They are having trouble sleeping, though, because they are so very full! They first went and cleaned Karl's kitchen. Then they ate Pizza at THE BEST PIZZA PLACE IN THE WORLD, the virtues of which are only enhanced by its being open at 10:30 PM. They also went to that amazing shoppe named after Captain Ahab's first mate.

Yay for Starbucks!

G'night!

~The Most EX-Parrotus Maximus

I had blueberries too

...minus the South Beach Ice Cream -- I go for the regular. Haha.

Bernard can't bike this week. It's too hard with the work schedule. At least Bernard bikes to work and walks to school. Bernard will bike next week.

Blueberries

I love Blueberries!

Especially the fat juicy ones

Yum Yum!

Quote of the Day

Exercise is a dirty word. Everytime I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. --Anonymous

A Dead...BlueJay?

Well, Karl knows how terrible Blue Jays are, but he did not want one dead. So, out of the kindness of his heart, he caught it in his father's shed WITH HIS BARE HANDS! (Actually, one hand was gloved, because the Blue Jay had a very sharp looking beak!. The poor Blue Jay looked like it was going to pass out, it was so scared. It was also very cute. Karl had to climb a ladder, brave the terrors of cave crickets, AND cut himself on a rusty nail (don't worry, his tetanus shot is up to date...probably)but the poor Blue Jay is safe!

Bernard is sick.

You're No Fun Anymore!

Karl is being a party-pooper today. He could go to a 4th of July party, but instead he is learning Aorists. He really REALLY needs to. And he's going to be teaching the first EVER ACT class at the EH Kaplan center...so he really wants to be well prepared.

He did however do his long bike-ride today (twice as long as the usual one). He imagines that Bernard did not. He also imagines how much fun Bernard will have on this long bike-ride. It's quite invigiorating.

The good news is that not only is Karl going to get a lot done today, he's also going to eat only healthy stuff! (in honor of the founding fathers)

Well, that's all the news. I have to get in touch with Bernard to find out what he's been up to. Until then,

The EX-Parrot

Bernard ate a healthy dinner (aside from the chocolate cake) and Karl was determined to feel "no guilt." Bernard ate a really delicious salad, appetizer size. Karl ate a burger with fries and onion rings. *sigh*

Steinbeck and Bernard were also writing a book while they were in the clothing store. They also had fun trying on clothes. It was more interesting than the bookstore. Bernard finally knows what clothing size he is... because Bernard usually gets homemade, hand-me-downs, and thrift-store clothes and doesn't know what size he actually wears. Steinbeck got a haircut and Bernard wanted one too but he didn't want to pay American prices for it.

Ni

This post is titled "ni" because if you were to say "ni" to Karl, he probably would double over laughing, and the pressure this created on his stomach probably would lead to an early death.

Today Karl and Bernard, Karl's mommy, and another relative of Karl's, Steinbeck, went to the mall. Steinbeck had a very silly reason for going to the mall. Steinbeck and Bernard were in a CLOTHING store for the majority of the time. Karl, being the studious one, was in a bookshop. Karl did not look for "An Illustrated History of False Teeth." Karl did buy four notebooks very cheap, and one was for free. Karl also bought three interesting looking books. But Karl did not pay for them, AND Karl did not want them for himself. Karl also saw a FENCING SCHOOL right outside the bookshop. Bernard and Steinbeck mocked Karl for his desire to fence. Hmph!

Anyway, Karl, Bernard, Steinbeck, and Mommy ate at THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. After dinner they had AMAZING CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With whipped cream as thick as the cream that Lennie and George would have had had they only bought their little place!!

And that, my friends explains entirely WHY it is that Karl would laugh at anyone who said "Ni" to him. See, Karl hasn't had sugar in a long LONG time. It doesn't make him sick, but it makes his hands shake, and it makes him oh so very hyper.

They're coming to take me away, haha! They're coming to take me away! To the funny farm....


Anyway...

Nothing is going on!

-The EX-Parrot