Insanity

WELL...

The ex-parrots and company had a rather interesting evening yesterday.

In fact, interesting does not even scratch the surface.

It all started when Bernard and Karl decided that they should go biking on Monday morning together. Karl had already invited Bernard over for a snack Sunday night, so the OBVIOUS course of action would be for Bernard to sleep over.

Steinbeck had a meeting after church. It was supposed to be short, but it turned out to be rather long. Cassius, being a good friend, decided to stay with the ex-parrots while they waited (and waited and waited) for Steinbeck to get out of his meeting. Steinbeck (eventually) actually was done, and the starving ex-parrots were hurrying to the door when Steinbeck said "Is Cassius coming?"

Is he?

Um...

WHAT A GREAT IDEA! So, Cassius was promptly invited. And the discussions made their tortuous way to a final decision: sleepover! (Although Karl knew full well that everyone who thought there was actually going to be much sleeping was daft...but then Karl has always been rather perceptive.)

Karl, despite being rather perceptive, did have an opportunity to earn his "Official Space Cadet" badge before leaving the church building, however. He was about to drive Cassius home so Cassius could get his car...when Cassius could have gone home with his mommy and daddy (which he did, since Cassius' mommy is a wise woman, and stopped Karl from carrying out this foolish deed).

But that little hump being got over, the "sleepover" commenced. It began with DELICIOUS grilled cheese sandwiches a la Chef Karl. Chef Karl was going to wait for Cassius, because as Exemplary-Host Karl, it seemed the right thing to do. Not-So-Exemplary-Fellow-Guest Bernard ate immediately. His CLAIM was that Chef and Exemplary-Host Karl had actually TOLD him to eat. But I, the EX-Parrot, think that claim is poppycock. In the end, though, it was all the same, because Very-Hungry Karl trumped Exemplary-Host Karl, and he ate before Cassius' arrival, too.

There was lots and lots of talking, and then a trip to Dunkin Donuts, at which location sugary comestibles were vended to the esuriant parrots (and co.). They were waited upon by the much-more-helpful-than-Michael-Palin-could-ever-be, and indeed very nice Dunkin Donuts guy, who will be named from henceforth and forevermore...NADER. He sold the comestibles for MUCH LESS than one would expect, considering their actual price.

It turns out that eating sugar so late at night/early in the morning (it all depends on how you look at it) can have nasty consequences. The first person to suffer was Arcesilaus, who was innocently sitting at his computer, when (at 1:30am at least) he began to be bombarded with very...how shall I say...INTERESTING questions and stories. For example:

Bernard: did you know that a blue hippo is bluer than a pink hippo?
Bernard: sorry
Bernard: just asking
Bernard: little tidbit there
Bernard: enhance your library experience
Bernard: tell someone
Bernard: they might be happy to know
Bernard: enlightenment.. ya know
Bernard: have you read plato's republic?

[Editor's note: Does she EVER stop dominating the conversation?]

Bernard: do you know the muffin man?
Bernard: have you taken english comp 1?
Arcesilaus: haha, the muffin man
Bernard: have you ever dyed your hair?
Bernard: have you ever kissed a chipmunk?
Bernard: do you have a dog?
Bernard: have you ever been to boston in the fall?

As I have mentioned time and time a again, you will find yourself hardpressed to discover a more philanthropic EX-parrot than I, so I will not force any of you to read more of this conversation (or should I say monologue?).

After allowing Arcesilaus to begin the (probably now futile) quest to regain his sanity, the ex-parrots and co. prepared for bed. Once the lights were out, Cassius began falling out of his bed and landing on poor Bernard and Steinbeck, and Karl was throwing noisy bird-stuffed-animals, and making Cassius see MP clips, and Bernard kept saying that we must go to sleep so we can bike in the morning and also saying rude things about Karl and Steinbeck kept saying that he'd bet we wouldn't bike in the morning (too bad he didn't bet on it, he could have made a tidy sum) and also saying rude things about Karl.

By three Bernard and Steinbeck were basically asleep. By four Cassius was asleep. But it was not until at least 5:30 that Insomniac Karl was asleep. Poor Karl.

When Karl was rudely awakened the next morning he went to fetch fresh bagels. Yum Yum!

Then everyone left.

And I have nothing more to say, but to remain respectfully yours,

-The Most Very EX-Parrot in the WHOLE WORLD

PS: To further the insanity, I will place here the WHOLE dead parrot sketch...because I did receive a complaint once that it "didn't tell about his brother in Bolton." So, hope you like it!